The Great Gospel of John
Volume 1
Jesus' Precepts and Deeds through His Three Years of Teaching
In Cana in the valley
- Chapter 212 -
The Lord's decisive and humorous chat with Philopold, the Greek. The hardened stoic's loud-mouthed reply. God's patience too has its limits. Matthew and the obstinate Greek.
The talk makes the Greeks hesitant, with some saying, 'The usually stupid Jews have worked this out very well; this miracle-working Jesus they assigned here so he may have us against the wall. But we stand on solid ground.'
2
This time however I became indignant Myself with the Greeks' intransigence, saying to the hard-nosed speaker, who tried to dissuade the somewhat better Greeks from doing the right thing, 'Hearken, you hard-hearted person. Watch that the ground does not shake underneath you and the firmness of your stand. There have been a great many already who called out to their surroundings with super-heroic voice, "Let the earth be demolished, and the left-over pieces shall carry me about unflinchingly through infinity".
3
I say unto you braggart of a Greek who calls himself Philopold, that the fly that sometimes makes a business trip unto your nose stands more firmly on your nose than you do on the ground! For should your nose suffer shipwreck, the fly still has a second foundation on which to preserve itself quite well, such as air; where however is your second support if the ground under your feet loosens?'
4
At these My rather intentionally sarcastic words, Philopold the Greek, who was by nature a bit of a satirist, became piqued, saying, 'Look at the rare sight. Even a Jew sarcastic? Probably the first and last in Israel. Friend, when a Greek speaks of courage it is factual. For a Greek knows how to escape from life, seeking death. Greek history acknowledges Greek chivalry only, but is not ignorant of the incomprehensible cowardice of the Jews. Let the earth shake, or let all the dragons out, and watch whether a Philopold's expression changes by the smallest degree.'
5
Say I, 'Let go of your vain bragging, and do as I commanded all of you, or you shall earnestly force me to put your courage to a tough test. Because the God of the Jews will not be trifled with in such serious things, for even God's great patience has its limits in certain things.
6
If however you and your followers want to push your luck, then you shall be properly convinced that an angry God is not so easily appeased as to let a crude sinner get away without a well-earned punishment.'
7
Says Philopold, 'This sounds typically Jewish! The Jews had certain seers; these never opened their mouths, except for sheer warnings of which some came true upon certain usually unspecified times. Most of them however were empty air, for the earth's nature surely always has been stronger than the mouth of a Jewish prophet. The Greeks are stoics in general, and a true stoic has no fear, hence neither I. For I too am a staunch stoic.'
8
Says Matthew, the apostle, to Me privately, (until recently the tax-collector at Sibarah), 'Lord, this one I know quite well, a thoroughly annoying person. This one always kicked up a fuss outside my tax office, whenever he was taking his wares to Capernaum or Nazareth. With him I am still quite annoyed and feel like working him over.'
9
Say I, 'Let it be. I have a little test for him, and it will shortly come about.'
10
Matthew stands back, but Philopold recognised his tax collector from Sibarah, saying to him, 'Well well, you miserly turnpike jockey, how come you are here too? What is your barricade going to do without your watching it from every angle with your lynx-like eyes? No need for you to actually stir up this wonder savior against me, for he shall know what to do if I get too stiff for him. But from the natural aspect you two could have a tough fight with me, for a stoic is no rope or string that one can bend any old way.
11
Behold, the miraculous healing of the two hundred sick has confounded nearly all the inhabitants of Cana; why not me?! Because I am a true stoic, to whom nearly all of creation is hardly worth a bump on the nose, and myself and miserable life even less. How would you therefore punish me? With death? I tell you I long for same, together with eternal annihilation; because I owe thanks to no god for this ignominious life. Or should one feel obliged to anyone for the most despised gift of all? Surely it isn't much for an almighty God to call a human into being. Who could prevent God from doing so? The man still-to-be created surely won't be asked whether he wants to be created, so that as the only one really concerned, he may utter his yes or no; of equal unconcern to the as yet un-created one is it for the already created one as to whether or not he is followed by an as yet uncreated one. For a God therefore, the act of creating is nothing special; but indeed so for the created one, because he has to be something that he has never been able to request. What could indeed be more deplorable than having to be without ever having wanted it?
12
Give me to eat and drink without my work or effort, and I shall be satisfied for at least the duration of earth-life; but having to work unreasonably hard for maintaining this being, and hence suffer like a hunted wolf, and on top of that be obliged to thank some god for it and at the same time keep certain commandments, only for the creator's selfish benefit, for this let me 'thank you, not' to all Jewish and Greek gods or half-gods.'
13
Says Matthew, 'A few more such people on earth and Satan himself has a school he can attend for a hundred years. Lord, what is to be done with this one? If he really is the way he speaks, then all the angels together can achieve nothing with him in the normal way.'