The Household of God
Rise and spiritual prime of the first world empire Hanoch
- Chapter 14 -
ABOUT THE BURDEN OF THE OFFICE OF LEADER AND THE WEAKNESS OF MAN
And the known Abedam was so thoroughly shaken by the great grace of the Lord as to be incapable of thanking Him. He was in the very sense of the word quite beside himself and unable to talk, point, stand or walk.
The high Abedam, having well noticed his great embarrassment, stepped up to him, touched him and said:
"Abedam, open yourself up, for it is unseemly for a man like you to become embarrassed to the point of foolishness. See, not even the maidens did this when I had shown them great things and let them, like you, take part in My great graces; moreover, you have known Me for a longer time than they.
Therefore, be a man and not like a hare in the face of a wolf.
"Besides, you must not leave Me as yet but shall stay by My side as previously. Must you now become foolish because I have endowed you with a true and useful purpose of life?
"I tell you: Not until you will take up your office will you gain the greatest insight; then it will become clear to you that My offices in this world, far from being covered in honey, are laden with bitterness of every kind.
"Only then will you thank Me properly for the accompanying gift of strength, might and authority because you will then see how poor you would be in your office without this gift.
"Therefore, rise and do not thank Me until you have tasted all the sweetness of My office given you. Amen,"
Upon these words the known Abedam roused himself from his stupor and asked the high Abedam for permission to say something.
And the high Abedam asked him in return: "First examine your tongue and see whether I have tied it to your palate or your teeth by means of some string."
And the known Abedam replied: O Lord and Father, this is by no means the case."
And the high Abedam told him: "If that is not the case you may anyway talk freely, but not from the liver which houses the gall; rather speak straight from the heart, where your life has its seat Grasp this well. Amen."
And the known Abedam spoke the following words from his heart, saying: "Abedam, You great, holy, almighty, most loving, gracious, gentle, good Father, only now can I thank You. Yet I do not want to thank You with words, with gestures, with the hands, the feet, the belly, with the back or with the head, but alone in the ever-increasing humility, patience and love of my heart; and by my action I will offer You a sacrifice, a sacrifice of submission to Your holy will, a sacrifice of patience, gentleness, love, mercy, and a sacrifice of perseverance. And even if You let fire and brimstone rain down on Me, truly, I tell You, Abedam will not flee, but persist in faithfulness to You till the end of his days, be there as many to follow as there is sand in the ocean; for surely You will not impose on me burdens beyond my strength.
"But whatever agrees with my strength, no matter what it looks like, will promptly be taken upon my shoulders and borne with the greatest patience to the end of my, by You, allotted time.
"Just put me to the test. Place me in the fire, or in the water, or make me chase the flashes of lightning, or ordain for me whatever You will, O Father, and I shall patiently bear it out of love for You.
"But I do not ask You for this so that You might convince Yourself of my perseverance, for You have known from eternity how much I shall be able to bear steadfastly; I am asking You only so that I may see for myself how far my power of perseverance goes and how much weakness is still hidden in me and also whether with the great difficulties of Your office I shall be fully able to bear the same. Your holy will be done. Amen."
And the high Abedam regarded him with love and earnest and said, grasping his arm:
"Abedam, Abedam, you have great intentions! But do not forget Who He is to Whom you make such promises.
"Do you know the endless number of ways of testing you which are forever at the disposal of My will? Do you think it depends on you whether you remain standing or fall to your death?
Therefore, do stick faithfully to that which I have entrusted you with, and do not ask Me for burdens which in reality you would not even dare to look at with half-closed eyes, and I shall be pleased with you. And if you want to ask Me for something, ask Me to avert all temptations from you rather than lead you into temptations. By remaining faithful to Me in the task set by Me you will then find it easier to endure and will be more pleasing to Me than if, crushed to death under new burdens, you would call to Me, full of despair: 'Lord, save me, or I shall perish!'
"So that you may see the folly of your request I will allow a stinging fly to settle on your face for just a minute, and this minute will be a long one for you. And thus be it done according to your wish! Amen."
And at the same moment a large fly sat on the face of the known Abedam stinging him mightily. Abedam, terrified, was nearly in despair, for he could not rid himself of the continually stinging fly; but the high Abedam freed him of it in time.
When he was rid of the tiny burden he promptly fell at Abedam's feet thanking Him like one newly born for this deliverance from imminent destruction.
And the high Abedam asked him: "Well, - what about a little fire test now?"
And the known Abedam, trembling all over, replied: "O Lord, exempt me for all future not only from the said fire test, but do not ever allow such a persistent fly to come over my face; for Your temptations are terrifying."
And the high Abedam said to him: "You shall be spared forever; but you, too, spare Me from any far more terrifying folly before Me and remain faithful to Me. Amen."