The Household of God
Volume 1
The early history of mankind
- Chapter 97 -
ADAM'S CONFESSION
Following this speech by Asmahael, Adam rose once more and notwithstanding the vow of silence he had pronounced for the duration of his life, -which he had already broken anyway by speaking to Seth - began the following speech in the form of a confession, saying:
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"Listen, all you children of the main line as well as the collateral line. I have already put down nine hundred and twenty stones, one each year, as soon as after the winter the first little flowers began to adorn the bare earth.
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"Until now it was constantly more or less night within me and all my imagined light was not daylight but only the deceptive, fleeting shimmer of the moon, hardly sufficient to discern the outer shape of an object. And as concerns color, which is a refreshing reflection of the divine truths and the deepest mysteries of the inner life, only one is and remains faithful, namely, the yellow color of death; all the others are eradicated and changed to be as if they did not exist at all.
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"Who could count all the things I have noticed in the long night through which I have lived with only limited success, over how many things I have pondered and also uselessly wept, how often I have prayed and sighed to my God and yours? To you I gave light, but I myself remained buried in the deceptive twilight of the constant night of my own heart. Nothing was able to keep me permanently in the light. The good and true speeches of Enoch and all the others were like lightning in the dark of the night whose glaring light illumines the fields of the earth just for moments and then immediately punishes the eye of the observer with the thickest, most impenetrable darkness. And truly, dear children, I did not fare any better after each speech. I understood only what was actually said, but when I began to ponder on it the weak shine was no longer sufficient and the distant tree became to me everything my imagination wanted to make of it, but it did not become a permanent truth And the light of the nocturnal lightning was in no way better. Often I thought that I had to grab the thing, but before I could compose myself following the sudden strong shine I became again aware that not just the object, which my hand wanted to grasp, but also the uselessly stretched out hand of my vision had vanished in the most impenetrable night.
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"In truth, also the most unexpected and gracious appearance of the Lord yesterday, although accompanied by the unprecedented light of love and grace, was for me not much more than an exceedingly intense flash of lightning in the dark of the night.
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"While the Lord was among us I believed to understand it all. However, when He again left us visibly, I had to ask Enoch for an interpretation of Jehovah's unfathomably deep speech.
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"Enoch did this, and that out of the Lord Himself, but for my night the little spark was too weak and - to speak the truth - I did not understand anything except the words of which this beautiful and splendid speech consisted.
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"O children, hear and rejoice with me, for this my long night has now come to an end!
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"It is no longer the shine of the moon, no lightning that now brightly illumines me forever, no, it is Jehovah's sun, the everlasting day of life eternal has now risen within me!
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"Asmahael! Asmahael! Whoever speaks words like You, which are alive like God Himself, truly, he is not a stranger but is at home in every man's heart.
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"Asmahael, forgive me weak one for still daring to let my voice sound before You!
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"Your Word is not an inspired one, but it is Your own Word. Now it is clear to me why the children had to be silent before me.
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"My God and my Lord! Let me be silent, too, so that You will not leave us! Your holy will! Amen."