Sunsets Into Sunrises
Bishop Martin - The Progress of a Soul in the Beyond
- Chapter 11 -
THE WANDERER IN A DIFFICULT SITUATION. HIS FURTHER SOLILIQUY, AND ABUSIVE LANGUAGE.
Now look! Our man has already reached the sea; no spit of land is any longer visible in this endless sea, having its origin in the boundless folly of this man, which it illustrates. It also shows a mental state in which a man becomes incapable of any concept, showing a total lack of understanding like a complete fool whose ideas all flow together into a sea of nonsense.
2
Sullen and very annoyed, he is now standing on the edge of the sea, that is, on the verge of his last concept. He is still aware of himself, everything else has turned into a dark sea in which huge sinister monsters are swimming blindly and silently, surrounding our man threateningly as if to swallow him. It is pitch dark, and the place is damp and cold, and only from a faint shimmer on the waves and their ghastly, muffled gurgling does he realize that he is standing on the edge of an endless ocean.
3
But listen to his foolish talk! This will demonstrate to you how not only this man fares, but also a great number of others, who have everything in their heads they imagine in their stupidity, but nothing, or very little, in their hearts. Now listen to him.
4
(Bishop Martin): "So here I am! Oh, damn this wretched life! For at least ten millions of earth years I had to wander about as a poor soul in this night and utter darkness, and instead of reaching the longed-for good destination, I have come to this sea which will swallow me for the whole of eternity.
5
That would be a nice Requiescant in pace, et lux perpetua luceat eis! (May they rest in peace and the eternal light shine upon them!) On earth they have probably sung this beautiful hymn for me. I suppose for the world I am resting eternally and the sun might shine on my ashes. But what about me, my ego? What has become of me?
6
I am still quite the same man I used to be, but where have I got to? Here I am, standing on the farthest edge of a spit of land, and all around me is the blackest night and an endless, unfathomable sea.
7
Oh men - you who are still privileged to live in your physical bodies (provided that the world still exists) - how fortunate you are and how very rich compared with me; even you who, clad in rags, have to ask kind people for a charity! Unfortunately, my lot - if not a worse one - is waiting for you here!
8
Therefore, everyone on earth should seek to save himself; either by sticking to God's commandments or by becoming stoics with body and soul, which would be preferable. Everything else is of no use. Had I done the one or the other, I would be much happier now; but thus I am standing like a complete fool facing this sea which will probably swallow me up, although it cannot kill me since I must now be immortal.
9
If anything in this silly spirit world could kill me, it would most likely be the terrible hunger that has been torturing me for millions of years.
10
Should this sea swallow me, how will I fare in the vast fish world? How many sharks and other monsters will devour me and cause me terrible pain without being able to kill me? Oh, what prospects for my future in eternity!
11
Perhaps those sheep and lambs were some kind of spiritual sirens drawing me invisibly to this place in order to devour me. I can scarcely imagine having really seen them millions of earth years ago, but nothing would be impossible in this silly spirit world, where one can spend thousands of years without seeing or recognizing anything whatsoever, except oneself, carrying on fruitless soliloquies like a complete fool in the mortal world.
12
Just one thing I don't understand: that this my desperate situation does not scare me more. I am more furious than scared; but since I have nobody on whom I can vent my anger, I just have to swallow it down.
13
Still, I have the feeling that even if God (should He exist at all) came to meet me now, my anger would flare up again. I could then really lay hands on such a mock God, if He exists, who adorned the transient world with so much splendor, while this immortal world was treated worse than a tyrannical step-father would provide for his hated step-children.
14
Wouldn't it be a pleasure to vent one's anger on such a God, if He existed! But unfortunately, there is no God, and there can never have been one. For, if some higher being had existed, you would have expected it to be wiser than we, its creatures; but as things are, there is not even a trace of wisdom noticeable.
15
Even a blind person would understand that everything that exists and happens must have some purpose; and I, too, am something that exists and is, innocently, subjected to happenings. I live, think, feel, smell, see, and hear; I have hands to work with, feet for walking, a mouth with a tongue and teeth and - a very empty stomach! But let this God tell me what for! Why should I be equipped with all this which cannot be used ever?
16
Therefore, let this so very unwise God - if He does exist - come forward and face me so that He might learn some wisdom from me. But I could challenge Him forever and He wouldn't come, since He doesn't exist."