The Household of God
Rise and spiritual prime of the first world empire Hanoch
- Chapter 43 -
ADAM'S SELF-RECOGNITION, CONTRITION AND CONVERSION
As soon as Adam had heard the words of Pariholi he began to reflect on his own person, and he fully realized the magnitude of the sin still hidden in him before God, which was the reason why the high Abedam did not want to sit down at Adam's basket; and he also realized the great disgrace into which he had plunged by trying to win for himself, an unborn man, worship beside God.
This he now realized; but apart from this realization he also asked his heart: "How shall I now blot out this, my most foolish stain in the eyes of the Lord, from my life?
"Who will now save me and who prevent me from suffocating in the deepest mire of the most unheard-of dishonor - now before my God and all my children?"
Having harbored these thoughts he turned to the messenger Pariholi and said to him: "Pariholi, you did mention before something of a quick change of heart; however, I ask you how he who has turned so inexpressibly far away from God can find it as easy as you, with your lack of experience, imagine it to be?
"Could you give me a satisfactory answer to my question? But consider well the unfathomable depth of my present utterly miserable fall.
"O you most unfortunate thought, you most disgraceful thought which is most unworthy of my God!
"O you most miserable preliminary burning, who ever inspired my heart with you so that I had to institute you for my present downfall?
"O sun, accelerate your course so that your rays might no longer light up my immense disgrace before the whole earth!
"O Pariholi, where is now a comforting word from you? What can you tell me that could ever raise me up again before God? Where is now the feasible quick change of heart mentioned by you? What can you now tell me and what give me lest I completely perish in the face of the immense dishonor which is holding me prisoner to the innermost root of this my now utterly miserable life?
"Pariholi, oh speak, speak, speak now, if you can, may and will!
"With the voice coming from your chest cover my countenance lest it be too much exposed to the eye of Him, Who is now among us!"
"Thereupon Pariholi replied to Adam: "O father Adam, so listen in the name of your and my God Jehovah, Who is holy, immensely holy and is now among us and visible to the eye of any child however unwashed:
"How can you still question the possibility of a quick change of heart, being the first freely breathing witness of His endless mercies and thus knowing the endless love of Jehovah by several hundred more years than I do - and yet you can still question it?
"Behold, the customary preliminary burning instituted by you, whereby you have been honored by us, your children, uninterruptedly for three hundred years, was surely a still secret folly of your heart in the eyes of God. Seeing you languish under the heavy pressure of that burden, He has now shown mercy to you, taken this heavy burden from your heart and has now fully freed you.
"How can you, old father, who were the original teacher of us all, now still question the possibility of a quick change of heart, since He has changed your heart long ago, when you were still debating with yourself as to what evil might be behind this your preliminary burning?
"Why do you become angry in your heart because the Lord, the holy Father, forcibly rids your heart of a mighty, hidden evil?
"Or do you maybe think that He intends to ruin you by thus graciously raising you up?
"O father, - look towards that most holy spot; behold His eye, His mouth; behold His arms, stretched out wide in fatherly love and goodness! What sublime love is shining from His most holy countenance upon you, father Adam! And yet you can question the possibility of a quick change of heart!
"O father, I cannot possibly tell you more about this in the most holy presence of Him Who calls to you in a very loud voice out of every hair on His head:
"Adam, My son, why do you tarry so long and do not hurry into the open arms of your eternal, most holy Father, Whose endless love has occupied itself with you since eternities?'
"O father Adam, do you maybe still fail to understand these words?"
After these words Adam jumped up, glowing with joy, and embraced Pariholi; then he said to him: "O Pariholi, who gave you these words to say?
"Truly, the late evening did not bring this heavenly fruit to fruition in you.
"Hence let us both hurry to Him and seize Him with the brightest flames of our love; for in truth, in very truth, now He has lit in my heart both the preliminary burning and the one following it. Never before have I felt such an urge to love as I am feeling now; so let us quickly hurry to Him, to Him, the most loving, most holy Father! Amen."